Ben Flamingo (back left) and his gang The Fondudes were never less than a block away from trouble.
After a night of dancing at the Manroot Club, poor Lenny Shasta, was walking home singing Neil Sedaka’s “Breaking Up is Hard To Do,” as happy and go lucky as any gay boy could be. He wasn’t hard to spot with that newly dyed blonde coif, created by his aunt Jeannie earlier that evening. Aunt Jeannie knew Lenny was a dick gobbler, and accepted him just the way he was. She wanted to make sure her favorite nephew shined like a tiara in that club. She put out her cigarette and kissed Lenny on the forehead and whispered “you go get ‘em, Tiger!”
But that evening, The Fondudes just happened to be hunting tigers with fancy hair. Ben caught a flicker of blonde shimmers 50 yards away, noticed Lenny’s sashay, and that saccharine sweet melody. Man, did Ben hate Neil Sedaka.
Lenny looked back, hearing the whispers behind him, then suddenly, he saw the three thugs approach him with increasing speed. He walked faster and faster, little sparks flying out his butt, he quickly ducked into the back alley doorway of King Chow’s Chinese restaurant. But there they were, seething with disdain — Ben, Jimmy, and Bruce (far right).
Ben gently pushed Lenny up against the crumbling brick facade, “what are you doing here, kid? Shouldn’t you be at home unscrewing the toothpaste?,” he asked in a deep threatening voice. “Why, I’m just walking home, minding my own business. What’s it to ya?,” Lenny asked quivering. “Bruce here would like to ask you a damn question, shut your mangina.”
Bruce shuffled through, stepped up to Lenny, just inches from his sweaty face and asked, “uhm, yeah, you free to go to the spaghetti dinner with me at St. Luke’s church 7pm on Friday?”
“Why yes” Lenny jumped enthusiastically. “Uhm.....can I bring my Aunt Jeannie.”
The Fondudes looked at each other, tilted their heads in unison and nodded in accord.
“Yeah, yeah, man. That’s cool.” Lenny said.
The four talked about hair products and gels for some time, quickly dispersing when the local police arrived about a disturbance behind King Chow’s.
They were clearly born to be gay.