I honestly never believed I would have the opportunity to live my life as the woman you see today. Instead, I believed I had something wrong with me that I had to bury deep inside so no one ever knew how I felt. I did a good job of hiding it for nearly 30 years too.
In 2011, before the divorce was final, my ex and I had one last dinner together. She asked me if I remember her telling me that I never smiled when we took pics together.
I thought I was smiling but she said it wasn’t a real smile. She then told me she finally took a look at my alternate MySpace page (yes, I had MySpace and I had told her about that page.) She then told me she noticed I was smiling for real in those pictures. She said, you’re not happy and I’m not happy and it’s not fair to either of us. At that point I knew, I had to let her go. I stopped begging her to stay so she could move on and genuinely be happy. I wanted badly to do the same but was afraid to.
The night I was planning on ending my life, my cats licked the tears off my face and wouldn’t leave my side. They gave me the strength, courage, and love I needed to go forward in life. I owe everything I am to Buddy and Sweet Pea. They helped me get where I am today...to a place in my life where my smile is genuine and real.
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